Shitblog - Day 2

Shit Log: Day 2:

Dear Diary,

I am drunk. Let me singha (singha is a Thai beer pronounced sing) you a tale about life in Bangkok. Yes, we ran into hookers and other crazy locals in Soi Nana at night but we realized that Soi Nana is not that bad during the day. We made our way to the business district of Bangkok, Siam Square, to find the Vietnamese Embassy to get our Visas. We finally found a cab to get there and found out just what it takes to drive in a sea of shit. My god do these guys know how to drive. The chaos of driving in downtown Bangkok is just nuts with no clear rules of driving and lane changes every two seconds. Men and women driving motorcycles with their little babies in front clearly know what they re doing. Raise those little fuckers to face life right away! Before the embassy we found a small restaurant to settle and get our shit together. Shit then gets real. The waitresses can barely speak English so we try our best to pronounce simple Thai words. We end up getting the best food we ve had yet and make a few friends along the way who teach us to properly pronounce thank you and hello. After the boring embassy we make our way to Lumphini park in downtown Bangkok. It s kind of like central park. Running trails and very scenic we walk through the park to find some interesting wildlife. The events were documented and will be posted later.

I must break this story to tell you that Jono just bit a 50 Bhat bill just because. That s it. Drunk and not giving a fuck makes you want to eat money.

Anyway, the park was great and we ll post pics and vids as soon as possible. We walked a long way to find the best hotel for us. Malaysia Hotel had a brand new room for 1700 Bhat ($50ish CAD). They even took photos of us as the first people to stay in this new room. Excited and tired from a long day we decided to grab traditional Thai massages. Me and Hugh were the first to go. Obviously not knowing what to expect we went in anyway. For those who have never had a Thai massage, it is very different. The addition of clothing only masks the reality of very ‘familiar’ touching. North American massages involve little clothing but much respect for personal space. However, a Thai massage involves a set of light clothing and borderline sexual harrassment. Me and Hugh enter the dimly lit massage area to put on these pajamas. Feeling relaxed and comfortable we sit back and wait for our masseuses. Let’s just say that the Thai are not shy. A Thai massage does not just involve the hands but most of the body including the knees, elbows, and thighs. Its a mix of pushes, pulls, grabs, and twists for a relaxing experience. I’ll be honest, my dick was touched numours times and my ass was massaged thoroughly. I’m very glad I had a woman because I’m very sure all the men were very gay! We finished our massages and had some dinner at a local restaurant. The food came very quickly and was very delicious! Some drinks were to follow when we came back to the hotel (of course!). We had Chang beer, strong enough for an elephant but sold to oblivious men. When drunk we set off to find Fong’s Place for the karaoke bar. We settled on a smaller bar and a short language lesson with the locals. After much bitching about Cleves we headed back for more drinks and sleep. The night ended with a lot of beer sprayed all over the room. There are some audio files we’re going to try to upload. Bangkok is only getting better and tomorrow is Hugh’s Bday. We will up date you tomorrow with more shit...when it gets REAL

-Kev